The Organic Unicorn – United Kingdom Bondage, Backpage, BDSM, Escorts, Bondage, Strippers, Exotic Dancers, Bulimia, Anorexia – Nina Toubale / Nina Dellis

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The poly lifestyle has developed naturally for me. After a torturous mono marriage my heart was so broken I simply didn’t have the capicity to love myself, let alone more than one. As the blockages in my heart cleared I could feel the change in my bodys desire to love freely without restrictions. I entered a phase of openly questioning society. I remember asking my father, if two men want to give me flowers… why shouldn’t they be able to? I was comforted through his jovial surprisingly non conventional response and began painting the picture of my ideal dynamic. I was outspoken on my desires and determined for the law of attraction to bring 2 amazing boyfriends into my life.

Within 6 months, boom!… Thank you universe. Boyfriend number 1 delivered, unwrapped, unrestricted and deeply loved.

But he came with a feature that I didn’t even know I could order. He is bi. Since meeting him group encounters will never be the same. My kinks have evolved and settled in a way that I mainly come in self pleasure thinking of my primary and play partner and we are routinely discovering new dynamics such as foreplay slaves or fluffers, double topping CBT sessions combined with exhibitionist style sexual embraces to friends with benefits excursions at kinky festivals. But this isn’t quite enough for us. We desire friendship, an exploration partner in travel, food and culture mixed with kink. Not one or the other.

I would say I’m fairly well known on the London kink scene, my partner would say I’m infamous, lol. After a frustrating period of meeting potential men online through ads, I decided to use my network of friends to spread the word. I was updating a friend on my current dynamic and he replied, ‘so you’re looking for a unicorn!’ I wasn’t quite sure what this meant at the time, but he said that bi men are very rare in his circle. This was the husband of Zara Du Rose, so we are not talking an average sized circle either. I reminded him of the closet aspect of bisexuality and was determined to not be put off my hunt.

The more I spoke about it, the more negitivity I received. I just couldn’t understand the response, until a friend sent me a link. The stigma behind so called unicorn hunters is possibly justified. I can see how in some of our own play dynamics we are guilty of wanting the hotness but not the responsibility. We have been through the list of pitfalls and talked in depth about how we could ensure that our shared partners emotional needs were met and how comfortable we felt in situations such as inviting both partners to intimate gathers and so on. Admittedly, we have struggled somewhat as my partner isnt openly bi yet, but we both feel that would devolp naturally when we meet someone we truly connect with. For the sake of protecting others we have decided that we will establish friends with benefits dynamics and if we happen to fall in love, then great!

The problem I see when desiring to develop a traid is once all your physical and emotional needs are met by one person it takes someone truly special to be able to penetrate that energy, maintain their balance within and glide with it in a uniformed state of euphoria.

As a unicorn hunter I feel wrongly judged by our intention and I would by no means relate to those looking for what is best described as someone kept on the outside, except for when it suits the couple to be on the inside. For us, we have a healthy harmonious relationship. Whilst we both date/play seperately, however, we are finding that as our connection becomes stronger, we melt and enter this state of tantric bliss with just one touch and without the presence of the other, other connections are not as powerful or fulfilling. For us, it’s about understanding that we are on the same vibrational frequency, with counter balancing female /masculine energies which are maximized when joined by someones who’s energy compliments ours. In return, our ‘unicorn’ is also benefiting from this highly charged connection. We create this magical triangle of love which makes us purrrr on energy highs like we are all on drugs. We find that people enjoy being part of this rare exchange but just as it took the universe a long time to deliver boyfriend number 1, it doesn’t seem to be in any rush for number 2. We haven’t quite yet found the right elements all in one. So in the meantime, we are enjoying the variety of lovely friends in our lives.

I’m feeling guilty as our partners confuse our warmth and loving embraces whilst our bodies are resisting surrending to the connection as for us it’s not just about companionship it’s about soul connections and life enrichment which completes a cycle of love. We cant quite put our finger on it, but we know there is something missing in our current arrangments. We are happy with them and the fulfil us in an amazing way but we havent found our unicorn yet. We try to be honest with our intentions and where we see the relationship going but it seems like sometimes this honesty leads to feelings of rejection rather than acceptance and graditude for the role of our connection. We believe the right connection will transform organically through a mutual desire to be close to both of us, that real love can’t be forced out of need but can only manifest through the true desire of all hearts involved.

Writing that does make it sound like we are searching for a unicorn doesn’t it? But it doesn’t seem to wrong to me to believe in magic or the impossible.

I resent the stigma behind unicorn hunting, the judgements and all the other infections of ego that others project. Yes, being a traid is risky for all. But with patience and awareness love conquers all.

I’m not sure how others approach finding a 3rd or if you are experiencing the same negitive stigma and doubtful looks, if you are seeking companionship or a real soul connection like us… but I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and any tips you may have.


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