When Daddy Abandoned me

My relationship with Daddy was my first relationship in 5 years and my first in this lifestyle, so it was significant on a multitude of levels. We’ve been together for only 4 months, but grew very attached very quickly (as I’m told is normal). However, about 2 months into our relationship I found out he was married (no she didn’t/doesn’t know). It broke my heart to be so deceived. How did I miss something so huge. I trusted Daddy with every bit of me and gave myself to him completely and then I find out he belonged to someone else. I was in so deep I almost didn’t confront him. I didn’t want my perfect Daddy to leave me. But then, I couldn’t hide it. I started to act out and refusing his punishments, I became the brat I promised him I wouldn’t be. Then after a brutal punishment for my refusal of him, I didn’t stop crying. I didn’t let him comfort me this time. I just was overwhelmed and had to tell him what I knew.
He grabbed my face in your hands and yelled “Look at me! I’m so sorry baby girl. I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. Please forgive me.” I cried myself to sleep in his arms that night without giving him an answer. Of course I forgave Daddy, I will always forgive him. But I can’t continue in this relationship that he squirrels away like a dirty secret. She doesn’t know about me and that’s not ok. I had to let him go.
Then, he came back. Not 3 days later he started calling me, texting me. Begging me to let him explain. He says his marriage is long dead and he only stays for his son (I also didn’t know about the son). He says there is no love there, they sleep separately, she has no interest in anything he does. We spent a lot of time together and he never seemed to be hiding anything. I continued to have a friendship with him but promised myself I wouldn’t let it get back to where it was.
Then last weekend happened. During a late night video chat conversation (bad idea, I know), he told me to take my clothes off, that he missed me. He got that tone in his voice that Daddy gets that makes my knees weak, my pussy wet and makes me want to do anything he says. But I hold strong and remind him of my position of not engaging in deceptive sexual relationship with a married person. Then Daddy did something I would have never guessed he would have done, he said “Please.” Not in that polite sort of way, but begging me. It broke my heart to hear my big strong Daddy begging his baby girl for something. He started this relationship with me because we both had a need, me to submit and him to Dominate. I took that power from him that night with my continued denial of him, to where he felt the need to resort to saying “Please.” I couldn’t get over how bad it made me feel to do that to him. I could cry right now just thinking about it. I tossed and turned all night thinking about how desperately he needed me to fulfill his wishes and how adamantly I denied him. All night I thought, this must be how his wife made him feel, denying him over and over until he turned around and found someone to say yes.
So, then I gave in. We spent the entire weekend together exploring each other. Making up for lost time with intense D/s sessions and tons of emotional work. I felt like even though what I was doing was wrong ethically, it is what we both desperately needed. Then come Monday, you stopped answering my calls. You don’t respond to texts. It has been 5 days without a word. I have been anxious and sick with worry. I don’t know if you are ok. I don’t know if you’re hurt. I can’t get in contact with you at all. Maybe you lost or broke your phone. Maybe something happened so you can’t contact me. Then I see that you read my messages on the messaging app. You see that I’m going out of my mind without you and you say nothing.
I just don’t understand, you pursued me for so long after we split trying to get me back. So much time and energy on your part trying to prove that you really do love me all in an effort to abandon me. I mean what the fuck? I feel broken wide open with no hope in sight of repair. I guess this is what I get…



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